The Antelope Valley Times

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Op-ed: Choice is democracy

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By Breanna Chico

In 2013 I needed an abortion.

I was working a minimum wage part time job. I was uninsured. My partner did not want me to have the abortion and was doing everything he could to prevent me from doing so. I did not want to stay in a relationship with him and he knew if I had his child I would be bound to him for decades, possibly for life.

I went to what was advertised as a “free women’s clinic” on Palmdale Blvd. near 20th Street East. When I went to that clinic and told the staff I was pregnant and looking for an abortion, they took me into a room with a woman who said she was a healthcare professional. That was the first lie she told me. For the next 10 minutes she proceeded to present to me scientifically incorrect “facts” about abortion, including but not limited to: abortion causes cancer of the breasts and uterus, can make you more susceptible to STI’s, will cause infertility, brain damage and of course it will make me a murderer.

I got out of there as fast as I could and sat in my car stunned. I had read about fake abortion clinics but never thought I would find myself in one. Everything about that time in my life was surreal. Though I knew the woman’s words were lies, they still stung. It was the same narrative I had heard from my partner at the time. I couldn’t believe a woman could do this to another woman. I thought about her words “life begins at conception”. If that was true then I was even more certain that I was making the right choice. I had never thought about what kind of parent I would be but in that moment I suddenly realized if I had a child I would want them to have everything I didn’t. I would want them to skip every mistake I made and I couldn’t bear to see them suffer the same way I had when I was a child, the way I was suffering at the age of 22. According to the woman at the clinic I was already a mother and doesn’t mother know best?

I did what was best for me and the bundle of cells growing within me. I touched my stomach where those cells, no bigger than a jellybean, sat. You have no idea the situation you would be born into and I love you too much to bring you into it. So I’ll do whatever I have to do to guarantee you will be safe from this man and if it’s true that life begins at conception then one day you will understand. A mother’s love looks different on each woman and make no mistake, abortion is an act of love, of compassion and an undeniable human right.

I went to Palmdale’s Planned Parenthood and was told there were restrictions in place that forbid them from even speaking to me about abortion. A gag rule. They gave me a card with a national hotline that I could call and signed me up for a program that would give me free reproductive health services like birth control. The hotline gave me several abortion clinics, all at least an hour away. There were no abortion providers within 70 miles of the Antelope Valley.

Later that day I went over this list with my best friend and his girlfriend, who confided in me that she had an abortion when she was 18. She pointed to a name on the list and said that’s where she went, that it was safe and easy and she’d help me call and make the appointment if I needed. She assured me if it was what I wanted it was fine. She called while I sat next to her and the appointment was set for two weeks later.

I convinced my partner that if he paid for it (he had a full time job in construction and made at least twice as much as I did) I wouldn’t leave him, that I would love him for protecting me and we would have a great life together. I became very submissive to him, I did whatever he asked, waited on him hand and foot, doted on him. His ego was satisfied and he told me he didn’t want a child, it was too expensive. He said he was glad I was okay with this and he was looking forward to an easy life with me.

The day of the procedure he drove me to the clinic, we sat in the waiting room, the soft roar of the anti-choice protesters in the background, the plastic baby dolls being thrown against the window even though we were two stories up. I understood why we had to use a special entrance. He had a last moment of panic, he asked me if I would leave him after it was done more times than I could count. I remember as I sat there, terrified, not knowing what to expect, I tried to think of moments when I had faced scarier things and was at a loss. I realized then that the next time I was in a bind it would be this moment that I would think of to steel myself and remember I had been through worse. In my moment of existential despair, all he could think of was himself. It was always about him and I was a tool for his self satisfaction.

The staff called me to dress into a hospital gown, I put my belongings into a locker and sat with the other women waiting to have an abortion. We immediately begin sharing why we chose abortion. Each story different from the next. A married woman with four kids who couldn’t afford another, could barely afford to take care of the kids she had, a woman who was pregnant off a one night stand, a woman who was escaping an abusive relationship, she looked me right in the eye and asked “Is that your baby daddy in the lobby? You hate him don’t you?” We all have our reasons and each one valid. Every reason is unique just like every woman and birthing person. After the procedure I felt as if the weight had fallen from my shoulders, I had my life back. I’ll always remember what my best friend told me after it was done “he didn’t deserve to be the father of your child.” He was right.

I have never regretted my abortion. I was able to leave him shortly after. He stalked me for weeks before he gave up. In the years following, I read the stories of Gabriel Fernandez, Anthony Avalos, Noah Cuatro and knew I had made the right choice. “That would’ve been my child and me,” I thought.

A patriarchal system is not built to protect people like me. Pro-choice is pro-democracy, pro-child and pro-family. If the Supreme Court were to overrule Roe v Wade and Planned Parenthood v Casey, women like me and children will suffer gravely across the United States. If we allow women and birthing people’s rights to their own bodies to be stripped away, we are no longer a democratic nation, this decision will only be the beginning of the stripping of basic human rights to minoritized groups.

The time for our Assemblyman, Senator, Congressman and City Council’s to support the majority of people in their districts and support bodily autonomy for everyone is now. The time for grassroots organizing to protect bodily autonomy in the face of the unthinkable is now.

The laws may go back but we the people refuse.

About the author: Breanna Chico is founder of the AV Solidarity Collective @avsolidarity on Instagram.

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Filed Under: Opinion

77 comments for "Op-ed: Choice is democracy"

  1. After unwillingly thinking about the gruesome, yucky subject, I have to say I’d be pro choice. Nature gave that right and responsibility to the child bearer or “birthing person” (how’s that for PC wokeness?).

    But advocates on the other side really believe they are sticking up for the lives and rights of innocent, vulnerable human beings without voices, so they are not evil. But the state screws up enough sh!t, so the last thing we want is the government making those decisions. JMHO.

    I bet my parents wished they had aborted me. They told me when they brought me home from the hospital, the lawn died.

    • “But advocates on the other side really believe they are sticking up for the lives and rights of innocent, vulnerable human beings without voices…”

      Uhhhh, maybe some of them I guess.

      I saw an interview with Karl Rove back in the 90s when he was absolutely at the height of his powers. He was the architect of judicial redistricting in Texas under then governor GWBush. The redrew the lines of judicial districts such that a state that barely had enough republicans to elect GWBush ended up with an overwhelmingly ‘conservative’ judiciary, which produced rulings that hamstrung the voters and drove down turnout in subsequent elections and stacked the GOP into the legislature where they could further limit voting outside of GOP strongholds…basically he ran in Texas the same process the GOP has been running nationally and it made him a GOP hero.

      Anyway, at some point in the interview we get the standard “what about the person, personal history, blah blah blah” segment and Rove immediately steers into this story about how the source of his ambition comes from having been a geeky kid…so geeky that he remembers getting beat up by a girl in middle school. The story was BS and Rove was just playing for the support of men who wanted vengeance on women, whether that was their ex-wife, girl that snubbed them as a teen, girl that snubbed them at the bar the night before, whatever. The architect of GOP strategy was pandering to the misogynist vote, and make no mistake a whole lot of the “pro-life” crowd is really just in it to punish women and the GOP knows it.

      • Wow. That was a bit of a schlep to get to, but I see where you’re going with it.

        Although I am certain that there are at least a few of such despicables to be found with such intents, I am unwilling to assign that to the majority of the opposition… As has normally been the case with most movements in the past.

        I believe that most people that have come to the illogical position espoused by the anti-abortion crowd due to excessive input of heat with a subsequent suppression of light. They aren’t bad people, they are merely thinking too much with heart and faith without balancing with cool reasoning.

        • I am not saying that it is a majority of the opposition, just pointing out that the LEADERSHIP of the GOP is well aware of who they are pandering to and keeping AMONG the opposition. Not every republican is a brutal misogynist, but if you are a brutal misogynist there is only one party you can count on to actively court your vote and the rest of the republicans will turn a blind eye to that courting. Not every republican is an openly avowed white supremacist, but if you are an openly avowed white supremacist there is only one party you can count on to actively court your vote and the rest of the republicans will turn a blind eye to that courting. Going on down the list…QAnon conspiracy theorists…fascists…monarchists…the GOP is really the “all are welcome in the one tent” party…it’s just that the tent is pretty much an asylum.

      • This a GOP warning of what’s worse to come if they take back House and Senate and a Dictator in office. LOOK OUT AMERICA.

        • Be worse than the sh!t show and dumpster fire happening now? I think you need psychological help for paranoia, dementia, chronic stupidity and terminal TDS.

          Your naivete and ignorance exposes you as a brainwashed, group-think toady, enslaved to the Hillary, Joe and Kamala clown show. Heaven help America with citizens like you! You’re dumb as a bag of pig excrement.

          Now don’t get me mad or I’ll tell you what I really think!

    • Bravo, good sir! I am impressed with the intelligence and logic in how you came to your conclusions. Flawless.

      About the only thing that I could add would be the historical perspective that attempts to remove said right do not effectively reduce the number of abortions, merely increase the number of victims.

      You might just be a mite bit purple!

      • Purple Conservative? A PurpCon? Sounds just like me. By George, I think we’re on to something.

  2. How come I never see pretty women pointing signs at me saying “My body, your choice?” Drats.

    • Yeah… I never seem to get invited to the really GOOD parties – just political ones. ;-)

  3. Another wonderful opinion brought to us by our local democratic socialist of America…

  4. I understand that a woman can find herself in a tough situation and having to make a choice as to what’s best for her future. I wish women (and men) would be as adamant taking action to prevent finding themselves in this situation. Having said that, I am totally offended how the situation gets framed to make yourself feel good or to justify to yourself the killing of a child.

    • The thing that offends me the most is that the people who scream the loudest against termination of unwanted pregnancies are almost universally the exact same people who oppose any and all means people might take to prevent “finding themselves in this situation.”

      • I won’t attack your ignorance as you try to group people into categories based on your prejudices all I’ll say is I do completely support contraception, you are wrong.

        • As I said, almost universally. But go ahead and get snotty and defensive, it looks good on you.

      • “ oppose any and all means people might take to prevent…” In reality, they advocate for people to resist temptations, refrain from promiscuity, and to value the nuclear family structure. But the current agenda seeks to normalize the opposite of those values.

        • LOL…yeah how’s that pretense that people don’t have sex been working out historically you buffoon?

          • Yea I wonder why that is, you baboon, when the tax laws encourage single motherhood, with increasing rewards for each child she produces, while punishing the married couple comparatively. Now we have all the “Look-at-me” sites where women degrade themselves for likes, follows, and DM’s. Then there are some sites like OnlyF*** where ladies will do anything sexual on camera for a $2.99 subscriber. College girls signing up to be sugar babies doing god knows what with strangers for a monthly allowance. This is all possible because the left has stretched the fabric of social norms so thin that those norms no longer provide an appropriate level of insulation from this type of self destructive behavior. But I’m sure you’re going to find a way to justify all of it with nonsense.

          • The nonsense is you blaming it on this ubiquitous “the left” that you pretend are the source of all ills, while you yourself are out there exercising what you consider the “just privilege” that you have earned. Or are you gonna claim celibacy? I’d actually hope for that, because it would be truly hilarious.

          • By the way, for people who might be taken in by Mike’s offhand tossing out of garbage “truisms”…NO, the laws do NOT “encourage single motherhood.” Only a genuinely out of touch clown like Mike could ever think being a single motherhood is beneficial, and that’s only because he is totally consumed by “ANY break given to ANYONE other than MIKE is UNJUST!!!!” Greedheaded scum, pure and simple.

  5. Apparently she liked him enough at one point to undress and let him plant his seed inside her. I guess he changed and so did she, and she could no longer be bothered by the long-term consequences that came with her life choices. Lucky for her the world has benefited from great medical advancements and enough moral decay to make this option possible for her. What a heartfelt story.

  6. I find it interesting how these supposed heartfelt tales of pro-choice experiences always manage to leave out the part where they knowingly and intelligently undressed and engaged in unprotected intercourse, many times, without any concern for the consequences. Instead, we hear the selfish reasons they use to justify murdering an innocent life that has no say in the matter. They purport to be victims of these relationships with. men that most of them willingly got themselves into. It was apparently great enough in the beginning to be passionately intimate and carefree with their bodies, but now that reality hits and the prospect of pregnancy, responsibility, and life changing circumstances become apparent, they no longer want the baby, or the relationship that created it. The lengths these people reach to manipulate the narrative to justify the eradication of an unborn child’s life is the one of the purest forms of evil our society has come to normalize. Those of you who support this op-ed and the pro-choice movement are the worst of our society. You just don’t realize it.

    • People will still find a way to get abortions. Question is, do you want it done in a medical office or an alley.

        • LOL. Think? Think? If I got paid to think, I’d be making minimum wage. But in California, with minimum wage I could move next to Wrecks in Laguna (if his house didn’t burn down recently).

    • You think the “she had his baby and was stuck with him treating her like his chattel property for the rest of her life” would have been a happier ending I suppose.

      • With the help of the legal system, she could have easily provided the child a happy and healthy life. If the man was that bad, she could have successfully obtained sole custody and excluded him from the picture. Or, she knew he wasn’t bad enough for the courts to justify excluding him from hers and the Childs life, but she no longer had the same desire for him to be part of her life like he was when she allowed him to plant his seed inside her. But of course, we know she didn’t want that responsibility and couldn’t be bothered with the hassle of a lengthy court battle. No child is worth that from a pro-choicer’s perspective.

        • “With the help of the legal system…”

          Does it ever occur to you in your white male privileged life that maybe other people don’t have the faith that the legal system is going to provide for them rather than do to them? Like, you are as quick to boast about your lawsuit “prowess” as Donald Trump…is that because you think the legal system is fair, or because you know it is stacked in your favor?

          • “You know i think the idea of white privilege is absolutely reprehensible
            and it’s not because white people
            aren’t privileged. You know we have all sorts of privileges and most people have privileges of all sorts and you should be grateful for your privileges and work to deserve them I would say. But the the idea that you can target an ethnic group with a collective crime regardless of the specific innocence or guilt of the constituent elements of that group,
            there is absolutely nothing that’s more racist than that.”

            Dr. Jordan Peterson
            Clinical Psychologist
            Author
            Professor emeritus-University of Toronto.

          • LOL…why am I not surprised to find Mike quoting Jordan Peterson, reprehensible champion of bigots everywhere.

          • “LOL…why am I not surprised…”

            Tim-the-Tool, do you ever make an intelligent argument based on verifiable facts? Or do you just hurl insults, call names, and throw tantrums when you disagree? If you could string together one comprehensible statement that’s supported by verifiable data, you might earn some respect in life. But for now, you’ll always be the guy who wrote a tale about your past life and the lessons you learned, in an attempt to minimize your transgressions as an act of poor choice. For those of us who can read between the lines, we know it’s not your choices that led you down the path you took. It’s simply part of your DNA. Yet you clap at a renowned scholar like Dr. Peterson who’s published hundreds of peer reviewed studies and papers on psychology, sociology, religion, and social conflict. And the best evidence you have against him to call him a bigot, when he’s never made a claim even resembling bigotry. You’re still lost Tim-the-Tool…I’m sorry to tell you that. Meanwhile Dr. Peterson is a one man army who is single handedly dismantling the pervasive social decay that is woke, marxist, Neo-liberal propaganda.

          • It’s always fun arguing with someone who can’t read Mike, that’s why I’m always glad to see you come around.

            I didn’t call your hero a bigot.

            What I said was that he is the reprehensible champion of bigots everywhere, and that is demonstrably true. Get in an argument with an openly self described white nationalist, they will cite Peterson. Get in an argument with an actual incel (they call themselves “advocates for men’s rights,” generally speaking) and they will cite Peterson. Every hate group site on the internet has a wide array of threads devoted to lauding Peterson.

            What makes him reprehensible is that I doubt that he even believes half the crap he spouts pandering to his adoring throng of misfits…crap that is not drawn from any papers he may have had peer reviewed, incidentally. It just pays a whole lot better than being an unknown professor.

            But ultimately, I repeat that it is no surprise finding you quoting Peterson. As I said, argue with a bigot and they almost always get around to citing him.

        • Why are you Pro Choiceers so shallow in thinking. Yes, it’s your body, but guess what…you have another body in you. What about their Choice. I’m sure their choice is life.

          • You’re sure? Really? You are the appointed spokesman for lumps of cells with no discernible signs of consciousness?

            Good, you can represent Mike.

          • “Good, you can represent Mike.”

            LMAO. Best zinger of the month award to Tim.

          • PS: Not taking a position on the subject article. Just enjoying the zingers.

          • “Good, you can represent Mike…”

            LMFAO!!! I’m dying here. Point scored Tim! That was well timed and funny as hell. Not grounded in science, but funny nevertheless.

          • Wow, a sense of humor. Perhaps a little late for you to be trying to show a redeeming quality Mike.

            By the way, in all your high brow speculation about my motives for writing a book…you should consider that maybe it was just intended to be funny. If I really was concerned about people like you judging my “act of poor choice” it would be easier to just, I dunno, maybe NOT WRITE A BOOK.

      • Yea Tim..I mean, who wants to be bothered with family court and custody rights and all that stuff…right?

        • Sure you smug punk. I’ll bet you are one of those “I can outspend you on lawyers so don’t even try…”

          Oh.

          Wait.

          Yeah, that’s right, it was your wife that really made the big money, wasn’t it?

          • Stay on task Timmy Boy. We are talking about Roe v. Wade, not your envy of my ability to find woman to love, marry me, and raise beautiful children, while you reel in the miserable existence of an Incel.

          • LOL…once again Mike…to land an insult you need to be somewhere in the neighborhood of reality…like I was about the wife you used for her money and then traded in on a younger model when the midlife crisis got you. But since you know nothing about me you say things meant to be insulting that are so far off the mark they are just funny.

          • I’m an IndieCon (Independent Conservative). Or is it InCom (Involuntarily Committed)? I dunno. Something like that.

          • “LOL…once again Mike…to land an insult you need to be somewhere in the neighborhood of reality…”

            Well Tin-Tool-Tim, you should probably take some of your own advice. Your dim witted attempts to profile me amount to flinging fecal matter against the wall in hopes that some of it sticks. Keep trying though. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.

          • “LOL… I legit had to look up Incel. I had no idea of such a group”

            The pictures of Tim and William most likely accompanied the description…

          • Funny thing Mike…I’m not profiling you. One time I thought I knew who you were based on claims you made about your job and such, and I was wrong. But funny thing, when I said something that related to who I thought you were that was clearly wrong my e-mail lit up with people telling me exactly who you are and what you are about. Apparently a lot of your “friends” were hoping I was exactly the dangerous felon you were claiming I was and that I would end you for them.

            So you just keep on pretending that you know what I’m about, and I’ll just keep mocking you for what you are about.

          • “Funny thing Mike…I’m not profiling you….”

            Tim, there’s not a shred of information that I’ve provided you that could possibly clue you or any of you’r internet sleuths in on who I am. My digital trail is virtually zero. I don’t use any social media or blog sites. The credentials I created for this site is a one-off. I dont hail from the good ole AV, so these friends of mine you claim…not possible…the small tight circles I keep are not local pal.. On the other hand, I know plenty about you. I won’t tell the world your secrets, but suffice it to say, you do not possess the means or the influence to touch me, or anyone for that matter. Emails flooding your inbox…Ha! Narcissist much?You’re a lonely man. A keyboard warrior with a scorn for the society that punished him. If by some miraculous stroke of luck you or someone you happen to know are a black hat that can extract what little information there is about me…well…that would be a crime now wouldn’t it? But by all means, keep trying, I might just leave the back door open for you.

          • “But since you know nothing about me you say things meant to be insulting that are so far off the mark they are just funny.”

            Tim once again professing do as I say not as I do.

          • Sure Mike…maybe you are a new Mike.

            Or maybe you are the same Mike that boasted about being a particular kind of county employee. That seems to jibe with your recent blather about county employees and pensions, but maybe just coincidence.

            Maybe you are a new Mike.

            Or maybe you are the same Mike that used to boast about being a “job creator” that started a side business as a contractor that in your mind made you superior to people working as handymen, gardners, poolmen, etc.

            Maybe you are a new Mike.

            Or maybe you are the same Mike that boasted about how great Santa Clarita and gated community life is.

            Maybe you are a new Mike, or maybe you are the same Mike that boasted about starting a charity up until it was pointed out that starting a charity that specifically applies to yourself as a beneficiary is singularly self serving.

            Maybe you don’t use any social media. Or maybe you are just lying and think that using Nitter to access Twitter is a major layer of security and creates some sort of deniability as you post your life in public.

          • Luke, generally my comments are specifically related to what the person says right here. Like it doesn’t require any great investigation to say that Beecee is a gullible buffoon that will buy any outlandish nonsense that shows up on a RWNJ blog…because she routinely posts links to RWNJ blogs, and she quotes them as if they were factual on an almost daily basis. So, yeah, as so many before you you are just laughably off the mark, but keep on keepin’ on…we can always use some new blood.

            By the way, it is completely possible that Beecee is a genius and employed by the democratic party as a consultant and just puts on the gullible RWNJ believer thing here as a joke.

          • Lol,
            Genius and employee of the Democratic Party are two things that DO NOT go together.

            Digging up more articles for you as we speak nerd.

          • Beecee has spunk and courage. It’s not an easy thing standing up to the intelligence and wit of Tim and William (sob, sob).

          • Piling on Luke? That’s like a little Pekinese I once had yapping and egging my bigger dog on: “Get em, go get em, yap yap.”

          • Holy Toledo Tim-boner. Stalker much? You obsess over a ton of Mikes apparently. Don’t let that stack of Steno note pads of yours fall into the wrong hands bud. It could be used as evidence against you in a court of law. You certainly are dumber than even I thought.

          • LOL…nah…there’s a consistency of style to you that seems to make you all the one Mike. And sorry, no notepads. I work strictly from memory. I’m sure that seems hard to believe given your apparent lack of capacities, but it’s just one of those things.

          • Mike says: “I dont hail from the good ole AV,…”

            I gotta ask, then: Why would you be on this particular site for this particular subject?

          • Y’know, Mike, your entire posting of May 10, 9:55p causes all kinds of peculiar questions to come to mind…

            “I don’t use any social media or blog sites.” – This is a lie. Ipso facto and period. You’re here, using a social media or blog site. But why lie? Seems oddly unnecessary.

            “The credentials I created for this site is a one-off.” – Why would you feel the need to create a special one off credentials (aka: email) just for a little site in a relatively obscure area?

            “I don’t hail from the good ole AV, so these friends of mine you claim…not possible…the small tight circles I keep are not local pal.. ” – Even more curious as to why you should feel the need to create a special one off credentials (aka: email) just for a little site in a relatively obscure area… That you don’t even live at?… AND outside of your “small tight circles” you state that you keep to, to boot?

            I could go on (as I’m sure the other posters on this site will attest) but I believe this is sufficient, for now… As for black hats… I don’t wear one, it cuts off my view of my upper screens assigned for the dark web. ;-)

          • And that, ^^^, my esteemed friends, is how someone gets “Stung”.

          • @Stinger…numerous reasons, but none you have probably thought about.
            There are many people who work full-time, or on a semi-regular basis who rent a space out in the AV. Many of them own property and rent it to the transient workforce. There are numerous reasons for people to have an interest in the AV. I mean, the area has no real tourism, yet it has an abundance of hotel chains that are usually always booked. Think outside the box brother.

  8. “A mother’s love looks different on each woman and make no mistake, abortion is an act of love, of compassion and an undeniable human right.” This is so powerful. Thank you for sharing your story.

    • Ambi….so a mother’s love can sometimes look like murdering the child before it has a chance at life? Interesting point of view.

      • Always good to see a smug jerk of a man make the point for the woman by thinking he has some right to pass judgement on her. Nothing could illustrate her point better.

        • “ Always good to see a smug jerk of a man…”

          Well tin-man-Tim. Judgement is typically passed by members of each sex when murder is involved. Did you have another point, or was that it?

          • LOL…guaranteed that an arrogant self righteous prick of a “civil servant” like you gets the kick from every jury in every case. There isn’t a judge on the planet that would trust YOU to take an unbiased view of the actual evidence.

    • Ummm… I’m not trying to get judgmental on the author, here, but that sentence honestly did not make any sense to me.

    • Your logic is faulted, and you use it to justify your morbid obsession with having a choice. Abortion is about the death of an unborn child not choice. Also , liberal thinkers are ok with aborting babies out of necessity and choice but want to not execute mass murderers out of compassion. If you ask me they are one on the same. Death is death , we as humans should not exercise that power.