Reader: “Our only solution is erudition, not cowardice”

By former Lancaster resident Samantha Cox. A student at San Francisco State University and former student at SOAR High School, Cox writes this letter in response to our article: Local officials push effort to repeal transgender student law

I spent my entire life in the AV. I grew up in Lancaster and lived there for 17 and a half years of my life.

I left it the first chance I got.

And even as a straight woman, I left because this town breeds folks of intolerant behavior, lacking of any empathy and interested in only solutions that convenience themselves.

What AB 1266 does for students struggling with their identity or trying to assimilate into the gender identification they desire is progress. What it does for students who were born without this struggle is make them better people.

Transgender individuals experience incredible amounts of bullying and alienation from the world, so why perpetuate this treatment further?

What we’re looking at here are adults bullying children out of which bathroom they can use, what sports they can participate in, and being referred to correctly.

If they can’t feel great at school, what’s the point of going? Repealing AB 1266 would be a tragedy to all students and all hope for equality in public education.

It’s absolutely ridiculous that we have grown men complaining about their rights, while innocent children – children who don’t know true comfort, children who are battling everything the world tells them, children who risk their lives everyday by being who they are in a place like the Antelope Valley – get pushed out of the bathroom they wish to use, get trampled by the rights of privileged men, and get bullied by folks who can’t even begin to experience the transgender community’s strife.

We have folks on the forefront of division, when we desperately need the nurturing push for accommodation.

Our only problem here is ignorance, not gender. And our only solution is erudition, not cowardice.

I appreciate this platform at which you offer up. Thank you.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of The AV Times.

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  20 comments for “Reader: “Our only solution is erudition, not cowardice”

  1. Trapped In A Bathroom
    September 26, 2013 at 4:24 pm

    As a grade schooler I was often tossed into the girls bathroom by my buddies and then they would hold the door shut. After a year or so of this the girls helped out by pulling me in and blocking the door so I could not get out.
    As a teen I already knew what the opposite sex had because I had taken health with pictures while attending a Catholic school. Not to mention my father was studying to be a doctor, now that is some anatomy! I had no reason to wonder and be invasive of the girls space. If I wanted to see a naked body it was the old trial and error of asking various girls, or getting my hands on a magazine.
    I think the problem is there are WAY too many prudish parents that live in a make believe world where children are 100% innocent and it is ‘evil’ to know what the opposite sex looks like. Teach properly and the problem does not exist for the most part (there are always outliers).

  2. Db
    September 26, 2013 at 9:11 am

    It’s funny how easily people can use the words “intolerant” or “bully” when in effect saying a “town breeds folks of intolerant behavior, lacking of any empathy and interested in only solutions that convenience themselves” is hypocrisy. As usual in the liberal mind-set only they can have their opinions or beliefs and we all have to conform otherwise we are labeled “intolerant” or a “bully”. Sorry to say it goes both ways…finding the common ground is the solution, unfortunately it doesn’t exist anymore. My solution…take all the placards off of the bathrooms and install locks…just like the restrooms you would find in some grocery person at a time…wait your turn I guess…This is all nonsense and does nothing more that deter from what schools should be doing these days and that is TEACHING!
    P.S. I would love to see a letter from a student with an opposing view…fair and balanced opinions should always be welcome.

    • Mr. Mister
      September 26, 2013 at 5:00 pm

      “fair and balanced”…
      I wonder what media outlet that slogan belongs too…
      Certainly not one that advocates finding a common ground, that’s for sure.

    • Wow
      October 2, 2013 at 6:02 pm

      Actually, it doesn’t go both ways. People like myself – transgender, non white, queer people – are disproportionally the victims of hate crimes, rapes, murders, and assaults, based on being trans, non white, or queer; we are denied the rights to use the correct bathroom, denied being called by the gender we are, denied such a simple piece of humanity that you – likely a cisgender individual – will never experience. Please tell me when the last time a white person was murdered because they were white; tell me the last time a straight person was assaulted for being straight. Grow up and accept that the privileged groups in the USA – white, cisgender, male, heterosexual, middle to upper class – will never experience institutionalized oppression solely on the basis of being white, cisgender, male, heterosexual, or middle to upper class. It does NOT go both ways; getting your feelings hurt because a marginalized group is expressing their frustration with your privilege is not the same as being kicked out of your home for being transgender, as being beaten because you’re queer. Your feelings should not take priority over our safety.

      Schools have a duty to ensure the safety of every student in attendance so they can learn in a safe environment – and yes, that includes transgender students that are simply trying to perform a basic biological function when they go to the bathroom. In fact, you should be more abhorred that I, a transgender male, is forced to use the women’s bathroom. Isn’t that what bothers you people so much? Isn’t that a violation of both other’s privacy and my own comfort?

      P.S.: You don’t deserve a “fair and balanced opinion[s]”, but I was feeling charitable enough to entertain your ridiculous comment. Cheers.

      • Mr. Mister
        October 3, 2013 at 9:35 am

        Wow, that’s heavy, wow!

  3. Julia
    September 26, 2013 at 8:10 am

    I whole heartedly believe AB 1266 needs to be repealed thrown out and never spoke of again. It infringes on my not LBGT children. Why should I have to explain to my 4th grader daughter why a boy can use the girls bathroom. If this is such an issue for children under the age of 18, let them use the staff restroom. Then the other students rights to privacy aren’t infringes upon.

    • Xavier Flores
      September 26, 2013 at 10:08 am

      You do not have to explain any of this to your daughter, but it sure would be nice if you did explain it to her in a compassionate and humane way. For example, you might explain to her that God created individuals with many different sexual identities, not just male and female and that we see this in all species, not just human. You might mention that all his creations are good and that he is incapable of creating anything not perfect. Therefore, all creatures male, female, transgender, etc. are also made perfect. You might mention that it is our prejudices based mostly on fear due to ignorance that causes us to think otherwise. You might encourage and teach her to be tolerant and loving of all regardless of sexual preference and, lastly, you might want to ask her what compassionate solution she could think of to address this issue. She might surprise you with the simplest of answers, treat everyone equally and as you would have them treat you. Not too complicated.

      • DesertMom
        September 26, 2013 at 10:32 am

        Beautifully said. Thank you.

      • Jodice
        September 26, 2013 at 11:47 am

        Well said! Right to the point!

  4. Mommy of a 3 year old
    September 25, 2013 at 11:08 pm

    So I have a question, how will the rest of the students know who will get to go in what bathroom? will they wear a badge? present an ID? will there be someone at the door checking? it makes no sense… takes me back to Pre WW2 when people had to wear a mark to show what religion they were… I hope they figure something out that is in the best interest of our children

  5. Hildegard and Buffy
    September 25, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    Bosom Buddies remake, filming at a school near you!
    I kind of doubt any kids are going to put themselves and their families through all the pain and anguish to get a shot of your son’s tidy whities or your daughters, Strawberry Shortcake panties.
    This issue has nothing to do with the pervert teachers and coaches who have sex with kids. Those pervs successfully commit their crimes for years under the noses and blind eyes of the same people who are fighting this option.

  6. Jodice
    September 25, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    Bravo for Samantha Cox! What straight kid would say they are transgendered just to see the opposite sex in a locker room or bathroom? That is just ridiculous and ignorance! You are probably the same folks who think you can get AIDS from a doorknob…

  7. Hmmm
    September 25, 2013 at 6:39 pm

    Just curious…where do you live that is so much more tolerant than Lancaster?

    • None ya
      September 25, 2013 at 6:45 pm

      The writer of the original article lives up in gae bay, er, very liberal-anything goes San Francisco .

    • portia
      October 2, 2013 at 5:52 pm

      i dunno….everywhere?

  8. E.B.
    September 25, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    The problem is that this is NOT a solution. It is grossly unfair to young girls/women who will now be subjected to boys claiming to be transgender in order to look at or sexually harass girls/young women. I dont subscribe to “transgender” as being a valid thing. But my point if view does not come from hatred. If there are that many transgenders who are being bullied at school, then the schools better pony up the money to build a third bathroom option so that all students may feel safe.

    • None ya
      September 25, 2013 at 6:43 pm

      EB-well said and agreed! Same goes for a girl “feeling like a boy” to go check out the boys in their bathroom. This is why I do NOT want my little boy who is 3 right now to ever have to attend a public school. Between this crap & the Common Core garbage , what a travesty our school systems have become. Then there’s the whole other issue of the freakin teachers molesting kids, having sex with them, and babies. Lord Jesus return soon!

      • Adam
        September 25, 2013 at 8:15 pm

        It’s pretty funny that you invoke Jesus’s name after preaching bigotry. I’m pretty sure Christian values encourage treating people, especially kids, with respect.

    • Daniel
      September 26, 2013 at 9:54 am

      E.B. – You’re making a lot of assumptions. First the law requires for a young person to consistently identify with the same gender in order to be treated that way. Despite what misinformation is being spread to make people afraid, the reality is the many transgender youth know they’re transgender as early as age 4. With the right support and love, they will consistently identify themselves as their rightful gender. Students who do not consistently identify as a specific gender will not be allowed into the facilities of that specific gender. So a cisgender boy can’t use this law as an excuse to enter the girls restroom. As some other commenters have pointed out, perhaps the real fear is a fear of what young cisgender straight boys will do with girls when they’re unsupervised. Perhaps the real issue here is a culture that raises its straight boys to be predatory towards women. Also, I would strongly encourage you to do some research before deciding that being transgender isn’t a “valid thing.” The American Psychological Association, American Medical Association, and the entirety of mainstream mental health experts all agree that being transgender is real and valid. It’s important to have opinions, but they should always be grounded in actual information.

  9. Steve B
    September 25, 2013 at 5:49 pm

    I agree with the writer on this issue. This town was never bullies in the past.
    It was religious, which in itself is ok. But the Lancaster city council, Vice Mayor and Mayor have their own agenda to push forward. That agenda is to do whatever they want, whenever they want without regard for the people of Lancaster or the Antelope Valley.
    They don’t care about the strife of a transgender teen or for that matter any other child in this city. They get on the bandwagon of what they feel religiously or morally is against their personal beliefs. Unless it doesn’t benefit then or their constituents.
    This towns leader are Gustapo like and do nothing in the interest of all the people only there selected few. I sure hope the people of Lancaster have the gust to get this regime out in the next election. Because we don’t need this in our town.

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